I just wrote a long paragraph but forget subject name, back button, but its all gone. Well once again shouldnt hurt me.
Lurked these boards a couple of times before. Trying to do it now.
I am 34y old and started Everquest with 1 Account, added a second one later. Tried EQ2 and Anarchy Online, but then back to Everquest. Bought 4 more accounts for over 1000$, bought a notebook just to play Everquest for 3000$.
I just canceled all accounts. Now I am waiting to erase my characters in game once and for all. Servers are down, I am waiting.
I neglected my family and have only half a friend left, I quit my sports, I think about ingame Everquest stuff all day.
Give me courage to really erase the characters once and for all. When I am not back later this day to this place, I have failed.
Thanks for this site a lot. Its good and its all true (and sad)
Welcome to OLGA, Berner.
We are glad you are here.
Do you have any family that will support you in your effort to quit? It can be a big help.
These first few days will be very hard but its worth the effort.
Good luck to you.
Leveling in Real Life
Ok I erased all toons and deinstalled. Wasnt sure I can do this. Hope I stay out of it.
Yes I have a family (wife and 3y daughter), but I never talked to my wife about this problem. I always said I try to cut down and was happy when she was going out with friends, so I had time for my gaming.
What matters me more is having to feel I neglected my daughter. I think I still had much in control in my life, but I wasnt happy with myself anymore. I mean I have a good job, a wife, a child, but all I do is think about Everquest all day. When I think how much I read on background information about this game I feel dizzy. For one h gaming at home I was researching one h background info at work or wherever. Doing printouts, whatever. If I had put such effort in learning a foreign language I would have mastered it by now.
Anyway I am not sure if I should stay away from all games or just the evergoing onlines games. I mean I played games all my life (Bards Tale on Commodore64, Civilization, Ultima Online, whatever there is.). But nothing was as bad and demanding as Everquest.
I should restart my sports again I guess. But I guess my old buddies dont really want me anymore after all those excuses I had for not coming (now they dont ask anymore that is).
Reading all this stuff I realized it can go worse than what I did. But it is bad for me like it was. Ok I gotta go for now. Thanks I found a place to write these things down. In Everquest forums you can joke about being addict, but its like a well known joke; like drinking with your buddies and saying aEUoeOh thats enoughaEU, but ordering a full round of beers with your hands. I mean people admit they are hooked up with it and try to do breaks all the time. But most if not near all come back.
Part of being able to overcome addiction involves honesty. I don't know whether you would just substitute one game or another or if the game you just quit was the "bad one" among tolerable ones.
But I do know that if you are serious about quitting, you should seriously consider telling your wife. You may find that she is far more aware of your problem than she has been letting on and will be a great resource to you. I know mine is to me.
Good luck to you.
Leveling in Real Life
Being apart of your daughters life is priceless. KNow that you're HER HERO, no one elses, and it's up to you to nurture that in her. Take courage, one day at a time.
"This is the end...." The Doors
Well I told my wife yesterday that I erased all stuff and put all CDs into our dustbin. She was rather surprised and happy. She wanted to know what has happened, for that answer I couldnt really give an answer. I could have told her it was this site or I just had the feeling life moves around me more and more.
What I have not told my wife is how much I planned my life and work schedule around playing. I mean I was planning days in advance if I do this and skip this I can squeeze another evening gaming into my life. Or visiting friends for whole weekends was bad, because no chance to play. Weekend at home meant there was a possibilty to squeeze 3h in here and there. I seldom was playing on and on in one streak, but more the type who tries with planning to say be able to play 20h per week. This is much time with a family and a full time job. I d rather not dissapoint my wife by telling how much this took over my thinking and daily routine.
Well lets see how it goes on free weekend.
Ok its me again. At work, but a bit restless. Didnt surf any game related websites today. Erased the Weblinks as well. Trying to set up things to do for the weekend.
Spend a good deal of my working time roaming this board. Impressive and frightening. Maybe I dont really know what may lie ahead of me. Yesterday I felt happy after erasing and thinking its all behind. Hopefully its not only a break in between two Phases and I start again. Well I erased and canceled everything, but can always hook up again with buying an account (maybe they could even restore deleted characters who knows). I dont want that. I will throw away my old Civilization and Command and Conquer CDs at home too I guess (its only ones left after yesterday).
Sorry for typos and strange language, but english is not my native language. I can say I learned quite a bit of words from Everquest though. Only good point there is maybe for me.
hang in there berner...look forward, not backward!!!
look to the future with your wife and daughter. think of places you and your family can visit. even go for ice cream or walks. look to a more focused and rewarding life!
believe in yourself and you can do anything.
Welcome to OLGA, Berner.
What happened to you is also known as a Spiritual Awakening. It is a miracle of sorts - when you "see the light" and what has happened to you, and decide you want to change your life for the better.
Please consider this, Berner, it does NOT happen to a LOT of people. You are special to have realized this and now you are doing something about it. That is even better!
I hope you will look at the 12-step section of the message board, to help yourself continue with the program.
Liz
Liz Woolley
Spiritual Awakening sounds good. And yes I have looked at the 12 step programme. That part about making amends to friends and family seems not too easy.
Anyway after thinking a lot yesterday, there is something what probably got me over the edge. In my former Everquest guild is a couple playing (dunno if married or not, lets assume yes). The husband more than the wife. They just had their first baby. And guess what? Now they play even more than before. The man a lot more in my opinion (many h daily). When grouping with em (esp. the wife) you get comments likeaEU need quick afkaEU (away from keyboard) aEUoethe baby cries again.aEU Or something like (whilst trying to do something ingame) aEUoe..its not so easy with a baby on my arms...aEU
I mean I wasnt there for my family like I should I admit that, but thats a step further down and made me think I do not want to become like this.
And now... you can be.
You are doing very well.
Just don't count the days with pride, pride and recovery don't mix well.
Good luck to you.
Leveling in Real Life
I put my gaming computer in my working desk for the weekend. Will try to fix some things at home the next days.
Had many thoughts from the game coming to me whilst going to bed for sleep yesterday. Its not easy to make my brain erase gaming too. I am thinking if I should take up learning a language as a project. On the other hand maybe I should look for some more relaxing things instead.
Hi Berner,
Did you look at the post about quitting gaming? Here is the link - p198.ezboard.com/folgafrm3.showMessage?topicID=237.topic
This has many suggestions about how you can fill the hole leaving the games makes. Please have a plan, and try different things to see what works for you. I know for me, when I need to get something out of my mind, a brisk walk will usually take care of it.
That is a sad story about the new parents....
Hang in there, Berner. It does get better.
Liz
Liz Woolley
Quote:I just wrote a long paragraph but forget subject name, back button, but its all gone. Well once again shouldnt hurt me.
Using firefox helps with this (it saves what you have written), i had that happen to me very often when I was using IE.
Learning a language sounds interesting. I have started reading novels again for fun, have only been reading literature for work/studies for ages it seems. Now I like laughing my belly off with some good terry pratchett
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What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.
Weekend was nice (we had good weather). We had so much action I was easy for me. Sat Zoo with all family. Sunday fixing stuff in house and removing old furniture to throw away. Middle of night daughter ill, driving to pharmacy (when I came back she was asleep, well...).
So far its all good. Got a mail from a old guild mate if I really have erased the chars. I ordererd a language course (book and CD) aEU" that doesnt mean I am starting to learn yet, but lets say I consider it. Ordered Lost2 DVD box.
Have avoided surfing on Guild Homepage by inches. But so far I havent been back. Friday our dustbin got emptied, saw the thread fopr broken CDs in fishtank too late. Anyway they are gone (was a collection of over 20 Everquest CDs and some other gaming CDs to top it off.
aEUoeJust don't count the days with pride, pride and recovery don't mix well.aEU (by Xandtar above)
Actually these are helpful hints. Thank you.
Working much atm, so not much time for craving. Played some freedownload round based game yesterday for 1,5h. Had the time for it.
Oh and I have been running twice per week in last 3 weeks. 20-30 min. Not bad. Still thinking about EQ from time to time. But no relapse there so far.
Ok back to work now (I am at work atm). Still have my gaming Comp parked in my work desk so I cant play at home.
Berner! YAY! Another LOST fan! I love LOST... such a great show to compare to real life... I am so glad you found these boards and found some support. I hope that you can find true joy in being apart of your family's life, their pictures, their memories. That is priceless my friend, priceless! Hang in there!
"This is the end...." The Doors